Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
