I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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