is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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