Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
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