Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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