Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
