I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
