he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
bring money and cleavage
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
