I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
