we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
