my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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