there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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