just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
