so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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