He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize