Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Randomize
