So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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