Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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