I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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