suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
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