Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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