I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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