I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
