Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
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Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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