On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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