I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
My feet surprised me
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