goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
