he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
