my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
