EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I want a musical about memes.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
