I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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