went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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