I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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