they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
