I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
