yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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