RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
