Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
