just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
