Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
