He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
