I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
