Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
