Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
