people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
