Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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