I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
