so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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