Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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