every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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