WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
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