So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what day is it and did you see me today?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
