You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
Randomize
