Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
People in love make me want to vomit
she looked like the before picture.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
