the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize