In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize