Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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