the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize