just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
