i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
