the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
