the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
