i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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