yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I love having hate sex.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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