I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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